The wedding ceremony of Jiaying and Raphen
Jan. 7th, 2006
Processional
Opening words
With deep affection for Jiaying and Raphen, we have gathered here today to
witness and bless their mutual vows that will unite them in marriage.
To this moment they bring the fullness of their hearts as a treasure to share
with one another. They bring the dreams which bind them together. They bring
that particular personality and spirit which is uniquely their own, and out
of which will grow the reality of their lives together. We rejoice with them
at this outward symbol of an inward union of hearts and minds, and invite you
to celebrate with them.
On their behalf, I welcome you to this gathering. Thank you for coming to
support them in this moment of joy and happiness. Before we start, Jiaying and
Raphen would like to spend a few moments to remember the loved ones who are not
able to be with us today, in particular, Jiaying's mother Rong and Raphen's
grandparents Oletha and Bill who cannot travel the long distance due to health
reasons, as well as Raphen's grandfather Larry who passed away a couple of weeks
ago. I am sure that all of them are with us today in spirit. Let us take a
moment of silence to remember them.
< Moment of silence >
And now let us lift up our voices in celebration of this gathering with a song
written by Raphen's cousin, Mark.
"What Is Marriage"
Marriage is a union of two individuals. It is a relationship that is entered
into thoughtfully, lovingly, and with respect for the past and hope for the
future. Together they will experience what life has to offer. They will bear
each other's burdens as well as share each other's joys. The surest basis for
marriage is friendship; the sharing of real interest, the ability to work out
ideas together, understand each other's thoughts and dreams, communicate openly
and freely, and forgive big and small hurts.
Where there is love, there is a beauty that cannot be described; a strength
that cannot be broken, and a joy that cannot be surpassed. Your love can carry
you both through good times and through bad times. To preserve such love, you
must commit yourselves to each other freely and happily for the sake of a richer
and deeper life together. May then this love which joins your hands and hearts
today never fail, but grow deeper and stronger with every passing day.
Question of willingness
J.P.: Raphen, do you come before this gathering of family and friends to
proclaim your love and devotion for Jiaying? Do you commit yourself to her,
to love her, to comfort her and to honor her, both in times of joy and in hardship?
Raphen: I do.
J.P.: Jiaying, do you come before this gathering of family and
friends to proclaim your love and devotion for Raphen? Do you commit yourself
to him, to love him, to comfort him and to honor him, both in times of joy and
in hardship?
Jiaying: I do.
Support from family and friends
Just as all people need love and support, a marriage cannot exist alone.
Family and friends who are close to Jiaying and Raphen share a responsibility
to help provide a nurturing environment to help their marriage grow. So let me
now address the family and friends who have gathered, will you support this
couple and help their marriage grow?
Family and Friends: We will.
Words from the parents to the couple
This marriage represents not only a union of two unique individuals but a
coming together of families and cultures. The two smaller candles symbolize
their heritage, both the different cultures they were born into, and the
families that have loved them and nurtured them and pointed them along life's
path. We will now give their parents the opportunity to speak to them.
< Hao speaks >
< Hao lights candle >
< Sonja speaks >
< Jerry speaks >
< Mary lights candle >
The flame from these candles represents the guiding light that Rong and Hao
have shown Jiaying, and Sonja, Jerry and Mary have shown Raphen throughout
their lives.
Exchange vows
It is now time for Jiaying and Raphen to read the vows they have written.
Jiaying:
This is one of the most ancient Chinese poems where a woman pledges love to the
man she loves. I have chosen it as my vow because it is one of my favorites and
it says what I want to say to you on this day when we start a new life together.
Through life and death,
Through times of being together and times of being apart,
I am making this vow with you.
I am holding your hands,
I will be growing old together with you.
Raphen:
Jiaying, I take you to be my partner in life. I will trust you and
respect you, laugh with you and cry with you. I will help you up when you fall,
and run with you when you wish to run. I will love you and cherish you through
all that life may bring us.
Exchange rings
The rings that Jiaying and Raphen will exchange are the symbol of the vows
aken and love affirmed here today. They are a circle of wholeness, the perfect
form. These rings mark a commitment to a lifelong journey together filled with
wonder, surprises, laughter, tears, celebration, grief and joy. May these rings
glow in reflection of the warmth and the love that flows through you today.
< Exchange rings >
Unity Candle
Jiaying and Raphen, will you now each take the candles your parents have lit.
Together, you will light the center candle. This symbolizes the beginning of your
lives together as husband and wife and the joining of the two families. By
allowing the flame of the two smaller candles to remain lit, you also accept the
individuality of each other as a means to fulfilling your oneness. You will join
together your pasts, and begin the road of your future. Each of you will grow in
self and in the understanding of each other. You will draw energy and knowledge
from one another, and your families. In your closeness and harmony you will
fully acknowledge and understand your differences, which will make you unique
and special to one another.
< Jiaying and Raphen light the candle >
To the couple: May the glowing flame from the candle that you have lit
together represent the meaning of your love for each other. May the years to
come be as fulfilling for you as was the past, which provided the good fortune
of bringing you together. May your marriage bring you joy, good luck, good
health, and great happiness to you both.
Pronouncement
In this beautiful place, and in the presence of their friends and family,
Jiaying and Raphen have pledged their love for each other with their heartfelt
promises, with the giving and receiving of rings, and by joining the light of
their love into a single flame.
By the power vested in me by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, I now
pronounce you as husband and wife.
Raphen, you may kiss the bride.
Tea ceremony accompanied by the violin duet
It is traditional in China for the bride and groom to serve tea to their parents
to express their gratitude to the people who brought them to the world and who
brought them up to be the individuals they are today. During this ceremony
Raphen's aunt Tamara and cousin Loren will play the Bach Double accompanied by
Carolyn on piano.
Recessional
